Play… the essential experience of childhood

Play is fundamental to the development of children. Through play, children communicate and connect and learn a profound amount of information about their world. Children don’t just want to play; they need to play.

From infancy on, children want to connect with others. Play is a child’s natural form of communication and connection. Initially, children play to connect with their parents. Many parenting moments can be opportunities for play interactions between an adult and a child. Play can occur when you are feeding a child, when you are getting them ready for bed, or when you are walking them to school. The mutual joy and connection that is experienced during play helps regulate the body, builds a sense of safety, and fosters secure attachment. As children get older, they play as way to connect with their peers and build other social bonds.

Children are fundamentally curious, and they want to explore. Play is how children discover and understand their world. In play, the mistakes are not costly and, so, play allows children to try new things, take risk in a low-stakes way, and tolerate uncertainty. Building a tower of blocks until it falls over, for example, allows a child to test and learn certain limits.

There is no one way to play, and there is no right way to play. Play is, however, voluntary and spontaneous. It is not a forced activity or a task “to do.” Sometimes children play on their own, and at other times with others. Play can be silent, or it can be loud. Play can be messy or risky, and at other times quiet and calm. The way a child chooses to play can offer a glimpse into their emotional world. Repetitive play, for instance, might signal a need for “sameness” after too much change. Louder and more physical play may signal a need for stimulation after a period of boredom. Solitary play can reflect a need for alone time after a socially intense day. A child’s need for play can be higher after a period of stress, such as a difficult day at school. Through play, children express a range of emotions, relieve their feelings, and soothe their nervous system. Play is a powerful form of emotion regulation, and when children play, they feel safe. To alleviate anxiety, for example, children need to experience a sense of having control over their lives. Play is a child’s opportunity to experience control. By controlling the play and the rules, children experience control, and this is essential to healthy development.

Children do not require toys to play. Play stimulates imagination and creativity and helps children develop in their ability to plan, problem-solve, and “think outside the box.” Social play with peers allows children to navigate a range of relationships, situations and emotions. Playing with their peers offers children a platform for development in many domains - language, communication, negotiation, turn taking, boundaries, resilience, perhaps motor coordination and other physical skills, to list a few. Play, therefore, is how children learn many social, emotional, cognitive, and physical skills needed for life.

So, just how important is play?

Play is the single most powerful experience in childhood. Play is how young children experience their world. And experience shapes the brain.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child has established play as a fundamental right of every child.

The importance of play cannot be overestimated.

This article was published in the Lambeth Villager Jan – Feb 2025 Issue.